so that wasnt chicken after all
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
