I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
