I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
