On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
