jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
