I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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