i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize