Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
