he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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