no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
