im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
