i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
