Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
