I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
