I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
