i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
