I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
