He had one of those small greek statue penises
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
