She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
