I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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