ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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