She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
