Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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