This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
