So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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