haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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