It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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