East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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