I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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