hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
