i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
