my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
