So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
