I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
