I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so that wasnt chicken after all
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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