Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
