So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
