whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
