I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
