I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Girls should come with a carfax report
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
