thus making me awesome and them whores
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
