Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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