Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The ass gains better be worth it
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