i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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