I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
They took my balls.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
