Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize