just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
