i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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