We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
