that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
