Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
