I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize