just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
