Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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