Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
