If i come over, it means nothing
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
