so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
