Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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