U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
