I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
porn star boner night. come get it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
