Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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