I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
