Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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