I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
