i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
