it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
