i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
