U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
