But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize