Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
